Report to Shareholders
The recent fiscal period began with a rigorous strategic planning session, with the three-pronged goal to increase productivity, diversify corporate assets and improve staff moral.
To that end, senior management initiated the first in an aggressive series of research and reclamation projects, targeting regional waterways, parks and fields.
At the Oregon Coast Symposium, for example, lead researchers gathered numerous vital resources such as sticks, slimy tennis balls and goose poop. Sniffing was revealed to be the most efficient tool in targeting lucrative opportunities, and was preferred exponentially over heeling, sitting and staying.
Strategic partnerships were negotiated with two terriers, a hybrid model of exotic origins, and a young, but promising black Labrador. Early results indicate promising options for new markets and corporate expansion, as well as a sharp increase in staff morale.
Other objective indicators, such as tail velocity, slobber-incrusted ears, and nose wetness, demonstrated optimism toward the economy’s long-term growth.
As a cost savings measure, consideration was given to transferring the production of certain vital resources, such as milk bones and ball chuckers, in house. After due consideration, this proposal was rejected in favor of stocking outsourced inventory in deep holes in the backyard.
An informal debrief at the water cooler revealed a positive sense of lazy contentment, but also a clear call for improvement in the benefits program. To the latter: bacon, belly rubs and peanut butter polled highest.
About Kyla & Associates
Kyla & Associates is located in a corner office on the couch, with a panoramic view of the garden, and two devoted colleagues with waggly tails, Pippin & Ruby, each of whom enjoys a long history of success in nap mergers, biscuit acquisitions and accounts retrievable.